One Year Ago Today

2:17 am. August 12th. My father was called home to heaven. My sister, wife, and I at his bedside, holding his hands. Very hard day. I miss him every day. 

Since I was up in Pennsylvania on Sunday to preach, I stopped by the cemetery on my way home. I got him a little rose - he always loved roses. Always had them in the garden in front of his house. He was a fantastic gardener. I remember that he was always frustrated at the Japanese beetles eating his roses, and when they got blackspot disease. He taught me how to properly prune them, though I've forgotten now. Maybe one day I'll plant a rose bush around the house for him.

Looking forward to our reunion in Christ Jesus . . .

In Case You Ever Wondered . . .

I case you ever wondered what I would look like with hoops! (C'mon, I know that you were!) We took this picture while moving my daughter into a new apartment in Richmond on Saturday. It's almost twice the size of her old student apartment next to VCU. Her cat, Bronx, wasn't too sure he'd like it, but I think he's getting used to it . . .  :-)

Graduation

So Saturday was my daughter's graduation from VCU . . . but, of course, without all the pomp and circumstance. She came up and we had our own celebration that day. It was nice to spend the day with her and recognize her achievement. Here are some pictures. Pretty good, I think! #ProudPapa

The Recital

My last post mentioned the fact that my daughter's senior recital (violin performance major at VCU) had been cancelled by the school. She was required to video her pieces instead. She couldn't use them all because some were quartets and her fellow students are now scattered. So she had to make some substitutions. She also used some pretty creative techniques to compensate for the absence of accompanists. I won't spill the beans here - you'll have to watch for yourself!

Here is the link to her recorded senior recital. It debuted for us on Monday night, but is now available for viewing.

About half way through is her duet with her younger sister.

After that is some of her quite creative adaptations.

Make sure you notice the dedications. :-)

Hope you enjoy it!

What Could Have Been

We were looking forward to this the day after Easter - the culmination of my daughter's Violin Performance major studies at VCU. We had lots of folks planning to come. But alas, it was a casualty of the pandemic. There was even going to be a "sister's" piece where my two daughters played a duet. This is a tough time for all graduating seniors, but especially, I think, performance majors. A lot of hard work was going into this. There was going to be a quartet performing some of my daughter's original work as well. Perhaps when this is all over, we can arrange for something else to celebrate her . . .

Zoo Lights

While in Detroit, my father-in-law took us to the zoo to see their holiday light display. Fortunately, it wasn't too cold. We enjoyed all the lights and displays. I only have one picture of them so far, of one of the foxes . . . but it will give you an idea of how cool it was.  :-)

Christmas Pictures

We had a good Christmas at the Peasant house. Church services were good, as was the special music. A relaxing afternoon opening presents. My wife and older daughter made a great dinner. Missed having Dad around, but got a little nap after the presents in his honor. :-)  A couple of pictures . . .

Family Picture

What do you get the Pastor who has everything??

A yard of Twix! How awesome is that!

Birthday

So my birthday was this week. To celebrate we went to Nationals Park, where they had a big holiday event called "Enchant." It had a light maze, skating rink, and Christmas market. It was a fun outing, though the food court was disappointing. Since we went on Tuesday night, some of the special food booths were not open. :-( But we still had a good time, even though it was cold and rainy. Some pictures (though they do not do the light justice) . . .

A view from the entrance, walking down to field level.

On the skating trail. I didn't skate too well this night. :-(

Looking up at the large tree in the center of the light maze.

(See first picture for some additional perspective how tall it was!)

Part of the light maze was to find all of Santa's reindeer. This is one of them. You can see Ma Peasant peeking from under the head, and daughter Peasant as the silhouette in front. They were quite large, as you can see!

Just another cool light picture, and to give you more perspective on the scale of it all!

Looking down at the field from the concourse level, where the Christmas market was.

Thanksgiving Day

We had a nice day. Good to have the family together. Missed having my Dad around this year. We toasted him at dinner. And I didn't overstuff myself - that's good! Yet I enjoyed our feast and ate lots. And while it's hard to get a selfie of everyone, I tried . . .

We also watched the dog show again this year, and guess who won! A bulldog named Thor! I was rooting for him among the finalists. Just look at that face - perfect. Couldn't care less if he won or not. He's confident. He's sure of himself. Perfect bulldog attitude. :-)

Hope you all had a great day too!

Billy Goat Trail

Yesterday my daughter had off from school for the end of the quarter, so our family went to Great Falls National Park (Maryland side) and hiked the Billy Goat Trail. And yes, there's a reason it's called that! Lots of ups and downs and rocks to climb up, down, and over! But it was a beautiful day and good to get out. Here are some pictures. The first I did not take, but is from their web site, showing one of the rock crevices that yes, we climbed up! And rest are of us. :-)

I'm Back (I think)

I took some time off from blogging. After my Dad's funeral and a few days away, I had a lot to catch up on, the Fall schedule starting up, and just wanted to take some time off and process. I'm not sad but still going through the grieving process, being at times tired and lethargic. But I'm getting through it. :-)

I realized that I really had two Dads: one, the Dad of my youth and the Dad I would visit in Ridley Park; and two, the Dad who lived with me here, who needed me to take care of him. When I think of the first Dad, I have fond memories and enjoy looking back and remembering all that we did together and all that he taught me. However, it is the second Dad that I find myself missing. He was a lot of work and often frustrating, but that's the Dad that I am grieving. I guess it makes sense because he was here with me these past six years. But I still think it interesting.

In church a couple of Sundays ago, we sang the hymn that I believe was the last (or one of the last) hymns I ever sang to him. It was Sunday morning - the last time the sun would rise on him here on this earth - and before I left to help out at a church up near Harrisburg (which was supposed to be the first Sunday of my vacation), I had a devotion with him and sang "Entrust Your Days and Burdens" to him. That was tough. That hymn will also have special meaning for me now. This Sunday we will celebrate All Saints Day and Sing "For All the Saints" - that will be tough too, as we sang that at his funeral. Hopefully I'll be able to get through it. :-)

Click here for a taste of the hymn "Entrust Your Days and Burdens." Click here to read the lyrics.

Click here to hear "For All the Saints" sung at a Higher Things youth gathering we attended. Click here to read the lyrics.

One last thing . . .

Thursday was my youngest's birthday, so Happy Birthday to this beautiful young lady! (For some reason, I cannot add the picture, but will try again later . . .)

The Legacy of a Father

My nephew, Rev. Adam Douthwaite; my brother, Rev. William Douthwaite; me, and my son Robert, who served as crucifer for his grandfather's funeral.

A lot of people wonder what their legacy will be; what people will think about them after they die. Some people devote a lot of time to this, but the judgment of history and time is something that proves quite elusive to control. 

Here is my father's legacy. Not one that he set out to make for himself, but the gift of God. Three pastors (so far) from him. He was often asked if he was a pastor to have two sons who were pastors. He would reply, "No, I'm not a pastor, I just raise 'em!" :-)  For the record, he was an electrical engineer. My son (so far) is following in his steps.

If you'd like to read my brother's thoughts on this day, click here.

Update on My Father

How long, O Lord? We read that in a psalm this morning. How often we ask that of the Lord in all kinds of circumstances and situations. We tend to be an impatient people.

How much time will the Lord give my father? We do not know. He is still with us. He is strong, but it will be when the Lord decides. We had a nurse practitioner come in yesterday and offer to increase his morphine "to slow his breathing." I was the only one here at the time, and that sounded funny to me. He wasn't breathing overly rapidly, so why would we want to do that? I told her to wait to speak to my wife (a registered nurse) first before changing anything. So later, my wife spoke to her and she was much more blunt with my wife as to the reason: to speed things up (let the reader understand). No! That's not how we do things. It a good caution to us: people often try to make things that are not good sound good.

In situations like these - and I've dealt with them often as a pastor but not so often as a son - we aim always to care, never to kill. The Lord may grant him healing and then we will rejoice in the added time we have received as a gift. Or, the Lord may call him home to his eternal rest and joy. And then we will rejoice in the life promised and now given. But we will wait for the Lord (another good phrase from the psalms!). And even if it takes a long time and is difficult, it is good.

A friend of mine, a former parishioner, and brother pastor Chris Yang and his wife Jenny came to visit Thursday night. My dad supported him through seminary and while he served as a missionary in Asia. They came by to see my dad here a couple of years ago when they were on home service from Asia. It was very nice of them to come by and speak the Word of God to my father and sing to him.

But today, another day of vigil with him . . .

As a Father Lay Dying

Note: I do not actually know how close my father is to falling asleep in Jesus. His hospice nurse informed us today that she did not believe it would be long. So I wrote down some thoughts as I sat with him today . . .

Sitting at the bedside of your of dying father, many thoughts cross through your mind.

You see the ravages of sin.

You see a man who served in World War II.

A man who always wondered how he got so lucky when he married his wife.

The man so strong when I was young, now so frail, fighting for every breath.

The man who took care of my mother when she herself lay dying with cancer.

You think about all this man did for me when I was growing up.

This day is like the Tower of Babel - he is trying to communicate with me, but I cannot understand what he's trying to say.

You see him looking . . . but what is he looking at?
What is he thinking about?

He's comforted by my being there. I know that. He reaches out for me. Often. Wants to know I'm there.

He's tired. And not just from this sickness, but from 95 years of life.

Most of me wants him to have his rest, to fall asleep in Jesus. But part of me wants him to stay.

His father died before I was born - how was that for him?

He's the youngest in his family, and the last to go. Soon a whole generation will have moved on. It's a new time in life for me and my brother and sister. We're the oldest now. Or soon will be . . .

The last six years, caring for him, I've learned a lot. But I learned a lot from him my whole life.

He taught me how to play golf, and to be honest doing so.

He taught me how to build with wood, and how to garden.

He taught me doing repairs around the house.

When I was in Junior High, he once drove me two hours to a band competition after I was late and missed the bus for it.

I remember him praying in the wee hours of the morning before going to work.

I remember family devotions after dinner, every night.

I remember the special, handmade valentines he made for my mom.

I remember stringing Christmas lights with him, then for him. And decorating the Christmas tree every year.

He served in the church in just about every role he could, including congregational president, head elder, trustee, and more.

I remember sitting out in the backyard with him after dinner. He'd sometimes smoke a cigar and we'd just sit and talk.

I remember the surprise retirement party we threw for him.

I remember how he taught me that family always comes first.

The last six years haven't been easy, but I'm glad I got to give back some of the care he always gave me.

Like when I was in college and he was unemployed my last two years. He was just about down to his last dollar, but he got me through - and never even told me how close it was until years later.

He kept a plaster of paris handprint I made for him when I was 5 or 6 years old. It's still in his dresser - we saw it tonight!

It's funny the things you think sitting by the bedside of your dying father . . .

Thank you, Lord, for giving me such a father.

Lord, let at last your angels come . . .

Father's Day

Wearing one of my Father's Day gifts. :-)

I went to see my father on Father's Day. He wasn't having the best day, unfortunately. But that's okay. We had some time together. He's 95 and still kicking - that's something. I'm lucky to have him around still.

Some 75 years ago, in the Army Air Corp in World War II.

Today (minus the uniform.)  :-)

Used Car Shopping - Update

[See my previous post for the beginning of this story . . . ]

So we tried. We asked the salesman we were working with to ask his boss/owner to allow us to get the car we were interested in looked at. We tried to reach out to the owner to get his permission. Nothing. Not even the courtesy of a reply. OK. Message received. Time to move on.

So on Friday, back out we went. My daughter and I met halfway at a little family-owned business in Spotsylvania where my daughter found a Honda Civic just posted for sale the day before. The owner was very nice. He was surprised we found it so quickly. We looked at it and it seems it decent shape. We then asked if we could take it to a mechanic nearby to get it checked out. His reply? "Sure! No problem!"

So we went to a place down the road. A small shop. We asked the mechanic (who turned out to be the owner, I believe) if he would give the car a once over for us. Even though he was busy and had a full days work lined up, he took us right in and checked it for us! It was in good shape, he said. Nothing to cause him concern.

So my daughter is now the owner of a 2005 Honda Civic. ;-)

So if you're in need of a used car, E Smart Auto in Spotsylvania is a place I would recommend. Also, Olsons Garage - to take us right in even though he was busy, that was great. Both places, very nice people.

Used Car Shopping

So my daughter and I went out yesterday to look at some used cars. She needs a replacement. Soon. Like, by the end of the month. Her current car failed inspection and will cost too much to fix.

I hate buying used cars. Some people swear by them and absolutely won't buy a new car. "It loses so much value just by driving it off the lot!" Some truth there. I'm the opposite. For when I buy new, at least I know what I'm getting. Buying a high mileage used car . . . you're inheriting problems. And it's hard to know just what.

A couple of years ago we did this and got her a car. Turns out it had a lot of problems. Maybe some we should have foreseen, others not. But we learned, and hopefully we won't make the same mistakes. We saw a Mazda like the one in the picture yesterday. Not too high mileage and it has a good reputation. I'm hoping the man will let us take it to a mechanic to get an evaluation done. If not, do we walk away? Try to low ball him? Problem is, we have a deadline and time is always in high demand.

The salesman was nice. A schmoozer, of course. Lousy coffee! Anyway, I'll let you know what happens. :-)

Family Update

A couple of weeks ago, my youngest was inducted in the National Junior Honor Society. Of course, we are very proud! Here's a picture of her (second from left) with her friends from that night. (Sorry it's not the best quality. Hard to keep teenagers still for pictures, you know!)

Christ is Risen!

Alleluia!

We finally get to say it and sing it again. I am looking forward to a joyous day today.

It's been a strange Lent for me though, I must say. I felt like I've been behind and trying to catch up the whole season, and so didn't get to soak it in as much as usual.

Also bidding farewell to a founding member of the church. We'll meet again. But her long struggle is over. She is at rest in Christ and I look forward to joining her in the resurrection.

Today the whole family is over for Easter dinner. That will be nice. Then golf tomorrow afternoon! That's kind of a tradition for me, though one that doesn't always happen. Take the afternoon after Easter to get out and walk around, get some fresh air, enjoy, decompress.

My father seemed to take another step down these past few weeks. He's 95 now. Wow. Will this be his last Easter with us? What other changes will this year bring?

Sometimes I forget how fortunate I am. Which is really silly. Incredible wife, wonderful family, good health.

Hope you have a wonderful celebration today of our Lord's resurrection!

My Yesterday

So yesterday I had to report for Jury Duty! The trial I was considered for was a rape case that was going to last 3-4 days. Ugh. Even though attorneys usually don't like having pastors on their juries, I was a little worried. However, that, coupled with the fact that I have given pastoral counseling to women who have suffered sexual abuse over the years (but never to someone accused of sexual abuse) was enough to have me stricken by one (or both) of the lawyers. The guy next to me was a clinical psychologist who had treated patients in this situation also, and he was excused as well.

We were in the courtroom, though, for a good 1.5 hours, as the attorneys asked their questions and made their notes. What I thought was interesting and had never seen or heard before was that when one of the potential jurors wanted to explain something privately at the bench, the judge had a switch to turn on "white noise" through the speakers in the courtroom, to make sure no one else could hear. It worked. I heard nothing. But after a while, it got to be annoying.

Last night, then, I got to attend my youngest daughter's school orchestra concert. And, just like her big sister, she has ascended to principal, or first chair, in her orchestra. (Quite an achievement for a 7th grader in the Advanced Orchestra in her Middle School!) Below is a picture from the program. (Sorry the quality is not better, but it wasn't my idea to print this on red paper!)